Everything in my life is ruined.

[xp_cypher]

The NHL unveils team superheroes.

I just...what?



"The Rocky Mountain mad man, unbridled risk taker who controls the elements of ice and rock."

And he looks like Bobby dressed up as Dr. Freeze, or something.

Whatever marketing idiot thought these up ought to be punched. Repeatedly.

Comments

[x-wildchild.livejournal.com]

Dude, what.

http://www.nhl.com/ice/news.htm?id=549698

I dunno I don't think Bobby makes a face like he's getting laid WHILE he's using his powers.

[x-cypher.livejournal.com]

Seriously, I was all ready to cheer myself up with some hockey since it's All-Star weekend, and I just...WHAT THE EVERLOVING FUCK.

[x-wildchild.livejournal.com]

Are they making action figures? I wanna send one to my dad.

[x-cypher.livejournal.com]

I'd kind of assume that's the direction they're going with this, otherwise what's the point?

[x-wildchild.livejournal.com]

The marketing dudes were really bored?

[x-cypher.livejournal.com]

I was gonna go with "stoned".

http://www.nhl.com/ice/news.htm?id=549755

"Guys, guys! So, he should have, like, cannons fuckin' EVERYWHERE on him. And...and we'll give him the power of, um...MEDIUMSHIP!"

"Is that even a word, dude?"

"Who cares! It sounds bitchin'!"

[x-wasp.livejournal.com]

I just looked it up, and it turns out it is a word. It totally doesn't sound like a real one, though.

[x-cypher.livejournal.com]

Oh, I almost forgot! He has an NHL logo ON HIS GROIN.

[x-quebecois.livejournal.com]

Is this meant to be a stereotype? I am not so sure it is offensive. It seems accurate enough. (http://www.nhl.com/ice/news.htm?id=549577#&navid=nhl-search)

[x-cypher.livejournal.com]

It's not so much offensive in any of the depictions so much as...I don't understand the marketing decision behind it. And a lot of fans out there are likely to be staring at their screens going "...what the HELL?" Which is not the mark of a good marketing strategy.

[x-quebecois.livejournal.com]

Oui, it is ridiculous. I wonder if it was someone who is pro-mutant that began it, since it seems to show the Guardians in a positive light.

[x-cypher.livejournal.com]

That would certainly be nice, if that was the case. But mostly...yeah, ridiculous.

[x-wasp.livejournal.com]

Do they have someone who shrinks?

[x-cypher.livejournal.com]

Doesn't look like. They've got a shark on skis...



("I said sharks with frickin' LASER BEAMS, dammit, not SKIS!")

[x-wasp.livejournal.com]

If he's a shark, why does he need skis?

And at least he doesn't look like a Transformer or something.

And why don't they have someone who shrinks? They think "superheroes" all have to look big and scary and look like something out of a science-fiction or horror movie?

[x-cypher.livejournal.com]

Well, technically there's one left to be revealed tomorrow, I think. But yeah, seems like some comic artist and a marketing guy picked up a bunch of factoids about the various cities with NHL franchises, and then passed the bong a few too many times.

[x-quebecois.livejournal.com]

They seem to be blades, not skis. Surely they would slice opponents in half...

[x-wallflower-.livejournal.com]

I'm not sure whether to be annoyed that they haven't created any female superheros for this, or relieved.

[x-coldhands.livejournal.com]

At least I have my Halloween outfit...

[x-squirrel.livejournal.com]

LOL.

I miss the funniest things when I'm raiding. Did they make one for LA?

[x-cypher.livejournal.com]

http://c0389321.cdn2.cloudfiles.rackspacecloud.com/bios_full_king.jpg