oof

[xp_cypher]

[voice-to-text on]

Thank the Flying Spaghetti Monster, and Doc Jean, and Clarice, for painkillers.

Side note, things I do not thank Clarice for, this gaudy as heck phone case. I think it might have rhinestones on its rhinestones.

Everything hurts, and I lost half of an arm, but at least we prevented a robot body with pieces of the Danger Room and Cerebro in it? Yay team.

No, voice to text, when I say Cerebro I mean Cerebro, not whatever the heck you just tried to autocorrect it to. I swear to crap, you're worse than Clippy.

Also who programmed this voice to text to filter out all the swear words? Was it me? It was probably me. Congratulations, self, you played yourself.

Heck.
Crap.
Fudgesicle.

TURBO BONER.

Haha, take that, me.

Where was I? I mean, physically speaking I was in the Medlab. Mentally speaking, who knows. These are some really good narcotics.

Don't do drugs, kids.

Also don't stick your arm into a hunk of white hot metal.

[voice to text off]

Comments

[xp_wildchild]

You lost a what
holy shit dude how high are you

[xp_cypher]

[voice to text on]

ALL. I am all the high, Kyle.

{voice to text off]

[xp_wildchild]

Why would you program your voice to text to get rid of swearing? Man. WTF.

[xp_cypher]

[voice to text on]

To fudgesicle. Dangit. Crap.

TO MESS WITH OTHER PEOPLE.

[voice to text off]

[xp_daredevil]

Want me to come by and teach you the nifty voice to text tricks and tips? Mine was created originally by nuns. Now, it swears like the proper New Yorker I am.

[xp_cypher]

[voice to text on]

Can you teach me to be smarter than myself? Because I made it.

NO COMMENTS FROM THE PEANUT GALLERY CLARICE I CAN HEAR YOU TYPING OUT THERE.

[voice to text off]

[xp_daredevil]

Not being all the high is probably a start.

Guess this is what they call 'a learning experience.'

[xp_blink]

that is the phone case for the incredibly stupid.

I ordered a lot of them, because I know the people here.

[xp_tarot]

Oh, is that why I have a ... I am sorry, are these meant to be phalluses.. plallui? Pla. penises in hot dog buns?

I do very much appreciate the effort it must have took to change my phone case while I was asleep, given that the phone was in my purse. I am never changing this phone case, this is a remarkably high durability case for the number of hot dog penises printed on it.

[xp_blink]

awww, thank you! Do you know how many penis phone cases there were to choose from? You'd think they were trendy! But the hot dog penii just seemed to be *chef's kiss*

Who needs sleep when you have amazon and penis phone cases to buy?

[xp_tarot]

I was on line getting take out for Doug and Amanda and my cousin and I read this and I was very bored it was a long line and I thought it could not possibly be as many as she said it was

it was

so many

penises

[xp_cypher]

[xp_blink]

So. Many.

[xp_cypher]

[voice to text on]

The worst part is I can't argue with that.

[voice to text off]

[xp_blink]

of course not. and I include myself in that statement.

[xp_darcy]

Also don't stick your arm into a hunk of white hot metal.

What the actual fuck, my most esteemed partner in dumbassery?!???

[xp_cypher]

[voice to text on]

Um, yeah.

So.

I might have had to interface with the nanites in order to stop them building a robot body.

[voice to text off]

[xp_darcy]

Uh-huh. Well I hope you plan on teaching those little assholes about consent.

[xp_cypher]

[voice to text on]

Fudgesicle I can't clap while I say

That. Clap.
Is. Clap.
How. Clap.
I. Clap.
Won. Clap.

[voice to text off]

[xp_darcy]

What is the sound of one-hand clapping?

[xp_jubilee]

Duuuuuude!

[xp_cypher]

[voice to text on]

I have no idea how I'm going to inflect this, but yes.

Dude.

[voice to text off]

[xp_topaz]

Someone did not have your best interests in mind when they gave you a phone

[xp_cypher]

[voice to text on]

Was it Angie? I feel like it might have been Angie.

Or Clarice.

[voice to text off]

[xp_echo]

I may have mentioned you’d like your phone. In my defense, I was bored and it’s not like you can hurt yourself with words.

[xp_wallflower]

I’m glad you’re enjoying your drugs.

[xp_topaz]

Demanding solitude when no one was bothering you and then going on someone's journal to make a petty comment is a bad look

[xp_wallflower]

Who are you again?

[xp_topaz]

A person with enough awareness to know when someone is dangling bait but still petty enough to point out that you're being a brat

[xp_wallflower]

Child, you know nothing about me. Now run along, your betters are talking.

[xp_topaz]

Betters, huh? The only person I see talking is you

[xp_wallflower]

You are only proving my point. Tedious as you are, I’m told you have some value. I have yet to see it however.

[xp_topaz]

You wouldn't, I suppose. It's hard to see passed your own ego sometimes

[xp_wallflower]

A well tended ego is always guard against other people’s opinions. Perhaps you should try it some time. I’m told you’re easily led into bad decisions.

[xp_darcy]

Alright, alright. I leave you alone for an hour to get food Laurie, I swear. Food, meds, into bed. You can snark through the morphine again tomorrow.

[xp_phoenix]

Someone needs to be getting some rest.

[xp_wildchild]

I got his phone doc Jean - it’s in your office

[xp_phoenix]

Thanks. :)

[xp_wildchild]

I had to promise him froyo to stay put and not go looking for another phone for 12 hours. So

ima go get Doug some froyo I guess.

[xp_wildchild]

You want some froyo too? ima hit the place where you can build your own so text me toppings

[xp_phoenix]

Sure, why not? :)

Surprise me. I'm not picky.

[xp_echo]

Can I have some too?

[xp_wildchild]

actually that goes for anyone here text me with toppings

[xp_cuckoos]

Someone has asked that we come and check on you once things calm down a little. (Let's be honest we both know who).

You're an idiot.

~C

[xp_dazzler]

Hey, sooooooo....

sorry to hear about the arm thing? I was thinking maybe a joke would help you feel better.

What's the difference between a literalist and a kleptomaniac?

A literalist takes things literally and a kleptomaniac takes thing, literally.