The Journal of Doug Ramsey

Um.

Ignore anything said by me over the past couple of weeks? Things went pear-shaped, I'm getting help fixing it now, and, well, yeah, I'm not up for rehashing it just yet.

We probably should talk sometime. About the potion, now the other culprit (meaning she couldn't have done it without my help) has been found.

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x-cypher.livejournal.com

I doubt I'll ignore all of it, but knowing that things are getting better now will definitely be taken into account. And it's a relief to hear that they _are_ getting better. I've worried about you lately.

And yeah, we can talk whenever you're up for it. You know that I don't blame you for what happened, right?

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You don't?

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x-cypher.livejournal.com

Nope. Had a long talk with Doc Samson about it. Although public journal comments probably isn't the place to hash that out.

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I didn't know that. Only people I've talked to 'bout that whole thing that were involved were Marie, Marie-Ange, and Rahne. I figured after no-one else took me up on me offer to talk about it they/you were still pissed off at me. And then things got bad and, well, I'll talk about that later.

And your right - this isn't the place for this. I'll see if Craig can't help me with that IM thing you lot use, seeing how you're awake. Um, if you want to, that is.

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For what it's worth, I'm not mad and never really was - I just wasn't in a state to talk about it with _anyone_. Or at least, anyone without a PhD in psychology or exclusive rights to my heart.

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That's... good to know. That you're not mad. I'd get all shirty about people not telling me earlier, but I know I didn't make it easy. I'm building up to an explanation of that, it just ain't that simple.

But it's still good to know. You doing okay?

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I'm sorry I didn't find some way to let you know before this - no good excuse. And yeah, a lot of stuff isn't very simple these days.

And yeah, I'm doing alright these days. Things here at the mansion are so much quieter with everybody (it seems) out on holiday. Kind of reminds me of before everything started going nuts. But it's given me lots of time with Jamie, and lots of time to just sort of generally be, which is great.

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Good. That yer doing all right. The other half of not talking is not knowing if people are okay. I caused enough trouble and its good to know that some of it weren't permanent, even if it wasn't me that fixed it, like I should.

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Some times we can't fix all the things we do ourselves, and we have to trust people to help themselves, and to help us as well. Remind me when you get back, and I'll tell you... well, we'll talk. If you want.

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There's that trust word again... *wry grin* Seems like I'm missing an important part of me education with that one.

Talk is good. Gets everything out in the open where at least you can see the harm done. If you still feel that way when I get back, I'll email you.

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Yeah, the trust one's an important one, and one I have to work on sometimes myself.

And I think that sounds like a plan. *smile*

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I am not mad. I was, which I think you know, but I am not now.

Not at you, at the least.

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*nods* I know. Still feel as guilty as all hell, 'specially now we know who spread the potion about, but it's good to know people aren't still incredibly pissed off.

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If you consider -her- involvement, this is half my fault anyway.

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Fuck that, Frenchie. You had no way of knowing that this would happen. Me, on the other hand, knew fully well what a love potion can do and went ahead regardless. So cut the shite, or I'll have to do something drastic.

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I am the -only- person besides Nathan who might known this might happen.

But my guilt is in helping Dr. Essex kidnap Ms. Braddock. And no, I did not know this could happen, and it is not -much- my fault.

Though I am curious about what kind of drastic thing.

Oh. Want some gossip?

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That's what I was talking about. The Dr Essex thing - can't see blame there, meself. You thought you were doing a good thing. And you did. Ain't your fault someone took advantage.

And yer pre-cog ain't that reliable yet. We'll keep working on it - I'm sorry I wasn't there for you when you needed me to be, but I want to make up for it when I get back. We'll work out some way of channelling it.

Gossip? That ain't to do with Nate and Moira?

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My precog is getting better.

Which has to do with the gossip.

Guess which leather-pants wearing mutant has a date?

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*smirks* That ain't gossip, that's bloody obvious - you and Doug are out-cuting the old people. 'Bout bloody time one of you took the initiative and said something.

Fuck, all this romance about and someone's going to be looking at me for making more potions...

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Why didn't anyone -tell- us we were being cute?

I -promise-, no accusations of potions.

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