The Journal of Doug Ramsey

Dude, I keep telling you, paper beats rock. I don't care if scissors can cut flakes of mica.

Now, seriously, what's the decrypted deal here?

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1. To know The Game is to play The Game. One can never stop playing.

2. To remember or think about The Game is to lose The Game. Therefore, the object of The Game is never to recall The Game's existence.

3. When one loses the game, one must announce that one has lost the game to everyone present by saying one of a variety of phrases, such as "Dammit The Game", "I just lost", "I'm no longer winning", "I just lost The Game", "I lose", "I thought of The Game", or simply "The Game".

4. In some variations of the game, players are granted 30 minutes of freedom from losing The Game once someone announces loss of The Game. This allows players in the vicinity of the loss sufficient time to forget about The Game again. Other, more hardcore variations give no time-bounded immunity from losing The Game.

5. Another variation states that the game ends when any player thinks about the game and begins again for each individual player once he or she has forgotten. This means that one player can potentially lose the game several times before another player starts playing again.

6. Some rules state that everyone has always been playing the game, and that it is only possible to lose once you have been told you are playing.

If someone inquires about The Game, a common request after a player's non-sequitur game-loss announcement, a player must tell that person the rules of The Game, thereby enrolling the inquirer in the game (according to rule #1 above). Serious players of The Game often take much delight in this.

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. . .

Right. I'm going to beat you unconscious with a Nerf bat now, because that's just too wacky. Nerfy doom approaches. Fear its spongy tread.

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Hee. Farscape.

"Ha! Again I win!"
"No, D'Argo, paper beats rock."
"What? Rock rips through paper!"
"No, it's the rules. Paper wraps rock."
"That's unrealistic!"
"It's not supposed to be realistic, it's supposed to be entertaining."
"My _coma_ was more entertaining."

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x-mirage.livejournal.com

I think this makes sense.

And a rather fun except when you lose. which I just did. going back to not thinking now too.

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Whee! Exit, stage left!

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Actually, you haven't lost, because you get a half hour grace period after someone else announces that they have lost The Game to forget about it again.

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x-mirage.livejournal.com

right! forgot that rule.

I'm sensing a trend. and confusion. I'm betting that's Jamie though.

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Douglas, my room is not stage left. You do not get to flee here to avoid ... what did Jamie call it? Nerfy doom?

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Well, if you hadn't told him where I was, I might have pulled it off...

Okay, maybe this is the first place he would have looked. Um...

Run away! Run away!

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Aha! Nerfy doom takes a right on the stairs and approaches with much greater accuracy, no longer wondering if the laundry room is stage left!

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I do not need to run, Doug. I am not the enemy here, I did not infect the journals with that brainworm of a game.

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No, see, that was my reminder to myself, and...

Why am I still here? RUNNING NOW!

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NOT FAST ENOUGH, YE SCURVY DOG! Yaharrr! Take that for a buffet across yer mainsail, me hearty!

(What? I'm sure there were Nerf pirates.)

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You know that you and Doug both are very, very silly, yes?

...

Jamie? Where did you get a Nerf crossbow?

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I was beginning to get that idea, yeah. :)

Made it. The ones they sell in the stores aren't accurate enough.

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Would comment more, but STILL RUNNING!

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You made a Nerf crossbow? Next you will claim you made a Nerf machinegun, or one of those guns that gangsters use. Tommy guns...

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What, you haven't seen my belt-fed Nerf Gatling cannon? Heh. Go ask Alison about it, I'm sure she remembers.

Or even better, maybe I'll just ambush you with it someday . . .

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No, I have not seen this. I am not sure I want to!

Is there a kind of ballistic weapon you have -not- made to shoot Nerf yet?

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I don't have a Nerf trebuchet. Or any crew-served Nerf antiaircraft weaponry.

Really, once you get up bigger than the tripod-mounted stationary emplacements, Nerf weapons get a little impractical.

The Gatling's fun, though. If the belt doesn't jam, it'll unload a hundred full-size arrows in just a few seconds. No accuracy or range whatsoever, but it's kinda like turning the air to Nerf around your target. :)

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If I told you that I got the beholder to fly, do you think we could perhaps make a Nerf Zepplin?

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The Nerfenburg. I like the way you think.

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I think the Nerf will have to be real and attached to the beholder/zepplin...

Unless you know where to get a real flying minature blimp?

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x-jubilee.livejournal.com

You scare me, Douglas Ramsey...you really, really do. And now it's totally like white rhinos and I can't forget!

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. . . and, you know, there are no words to express how much I wish I could answer "yes" to that question.

Fortunately, as a consolation, I do have an extensive, nay, near-encyclopedic arsenal of Nerf weaponry. I'm sure we can find something to properly outfit the blimp with. Lemme go pull the box out of my closet and shake down Artie for anything he's borrowed and forgotten to give back.

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http://www.thinkgeek.com/cubegoodies/toys/753d/

The new secret weapon. It's a weapon AND snackage. All in one convenient package.

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